Here’s why talking is the best foreplay!

by | Sep 1, 2020 | Sex and PrEP

Okay, so there’s having sex and there’s talking about safe sex with your partner. Both are a lot of fun, but which would you rather be doing right now?

I think we can guess which one, hehe! ? ? ?

Let’s be clear here – even if you or your partner are on PrEP, you should still be using condoms.

Talking about safe sex is not exactly what we would consider “sexy” or a “turn on” right before gettin’ it on, right? But it’s important. Look, there’s no right or wrong way to talk about safe sex — but making sure you both are on the same page before getting intimate is the best thing for your overall health. Plus, talking can be the best kind of foreplay when it comes to your health and safety.

So, here are some conversation starter tips to address safe sex before you get it on:

“Before we take things to the next level, I think we should get tested. No matter the results, at least we know how to keep each other safe!”

“Let’s use condoms if we plan on having sex, does that sound good?”

“I really like you, and where this is going, but I have to tell you that I’m HIV positive and I wanted you to know because there are safe options for you, such as PrEP.”

“I really like you, but is it cool if we use condoms to have sex?”

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But before we continue, let’s talk about why using condoms still matters even if you or your partner is on PrEP.

  1. PrEP doesn’t prevent other STIS.

So, think of PrEP like birth control – it protects you from HIV, but it won’t protect you from other things like STIs. So, while it will help prevent you from getting HIV, it’s still super important for your partner to use condoms, too. In fact, PrEP’s popularity in recent years gives people the illusion that condoms aren’t necessary – and hunny, that just ain’t the truth! So if your partner tries to convince you that you don’t need a condom if you’re on PrEP, stop and talk about why it’s important to you to use both. They’ll understand, and you’ll feel much happier – and sexier – while gettin’ it on!

  1. PrEP isn’t foolproof!

Even If you’re taking PrEP regularly by the book, how do you know all your partners are? Let’s say you have multiple partners (we aren’t judging! Get ittttttt!), we’re sure most of them have or will tell you they are taking PrEP. But let’s be real here – you have no way of knowing for sure if they’re taking it every day. For PrEP to be effective, users must take it consistently every day. If not, it won’t work as well. Another reason talking about getting tested and using condoms seems sexier as this blog goes on, doesn’t it?! ?

  1. STIs are becoming resistant to antibiotics.

Getting an STI isn’t the end of the world, and most are very treatable, but repeated infections and treatments do pose a risk. Just like any other medication, antibiotics also have side effects and aren’t really meant to be taken repeatedly. The more you use antibiotics, the drugs will eventually stop working. Just another reason why you and your partner should always use condoms (and talk)!

It’s important for you and your partner to know where each of you stands so you can plan accordingly. Remember, no shame at all. You can and will have amazing sex regardless of status.

This is also a good time to talk about risk reduction ­— PrEP, extra lube, dental dams, condoms, etc. — and about birth control if applicable. Either way, ease your way into talking about what you want and try some of our convo starters we listed above.

The only excuse for not talking about sex is having your tongue otherwise occupied. ? ?

Have more PrEP questions?

This sweet, intelligent blogger is open to chat. Give her a call at (216-286-7737) or fill out the form next to this blog.

Ask for help connecting to a doctor for PrEP.

Fiona Allan, University Hospitals
Call 216.286.7737
AKeem Rollins, MetroHealth
Call or Text 216.714.2223

Email AKeem at Metro for PrEP

Email Fiona at UH for PrEP